Stormy Faith
Nineteenth Sunday - A
Readings:
* 1 Kings 19:9a, 11-13a
* Romans 9:1-5
* Matt. 14:22-33
Stormy Faith
Mother Teresa - An Atheist?
Did you know that some people are claiming that Mother Teresa was an atheist? That’s almost one for Ripley’s “Believe It Or Not”, isn’t it? So, how did this happen. Some of you might know that, not too long ago, there was a book published which contained some of Mother Teresa’s correspondence. Through that book, called “Come Be My Light”, the world discovered that for fifty years, Mother Teresa struggled with a terrible spiritual dryness.
She was unable to feel the presence of God in her life and actually felt that somehow God had abandoned her. She lived for those fifty years in an extreme dark night of the soul, not experiencing any deep consolation or feelings of closeness to God. Those who do not understand what faith is, are now saying that Mother Teresa was living a lie. They claim that since she felt no consolation or peace from God, then she surely must not have believed in God.
Feelings And Faith
We shouldn’t be too hard on those who are making this outrageous claim about Mother Teresa. After all, don’t many of us come to similar conclusions in our own lives? If we don’t experience God’s presence in our lives, if we struggle to believe in God’s love for us, if our hearts are filled with nothing but dust and empty space when we kneel to pray - when all this happens, don’t we condemn ourselves for having a weakened faith or for having no faith?
Somehow, we have come to think that believing in God means the same thing as feeling the presence and the love of God in our lives. And so when the feelings aren’t there, we judge that the faith is not there. Nothing could be further from the truth. Having faith in God is not primarily an emotional experience. Throwing your arms up in the air and shouting “Alleluia”, doesn’t mean that you have more faith than the man or woman who sits quietly, praying, “Lord I believe, help my unbelief”.
Never Assume
In the area of spirituality, we are often the victims of our own assumptions. We assume that all priests and sisters, all members of prayer meetings, all those who are in charismatic groups, are feeling God’s love and presence in their lives. It’s just not so, and the sooner we accept that fact, the better it will be for us. There is no need for us to go on criticizing and blaming ourselves for lack of religious feelings.
The dark night of the soul that Mother Teresa was feeling is probably much more common than most of us believe. I would hazard a guess that if each of us here had a chance to tell the others what their faith life looked like, we would all be very much surprised. It would be wonderful to have frequent and deep emotional experiences of God’s love and presence, but that’s just not the way it is for most of us.
Most of us need to make the decision over and over again to trust that God is loving us and taking care of us. When life’s difficulties threaten to overwhelm us and drown us, we need to cry out, “Lord I believe, help my unbelief”. Faith is not being able to walk on water as Peter wanted to do, but daring to believe that God is with us in the boat, even when the seas threaten to overwhelm us.
Where Is Faith?
Where was Mother Teresa’s faith to be found if it was not to be found in feelings of consolation, peace and certainty? Her faith was evident in the way she lived her life. Her faith was found in the stance she took, in her care of the poorest of the poor, in loving the dying and the distressed men and women who had been abandoned by so many others. Her faith shone out from the way she lived her life.
Isn’t this the way it is in all of our lives? Our faith is evident in the way we take care of each other, in the way we defend the weak ones among us, in the way we honour the aged and the sick. There are so many ways in which our faith shines through our lives.
Let’s go back to the first reading for a moment. Elijah is on the mountain called Horeb and he is told that the Lord will pass by. First there came a great wind, then an earthquake, and finally a fire. But the Lord was not in any of them. And then there was ‘sheer silence’. That’s where he found the Lord. You and I don’t need to travel to exotic places or high mountains to meet God. We meet God in the sheer silence. God is present in our daily lives in ways we don’t often notice.
Daily Faith
It is often in the way we persevere in our following of Christ, that our faith is most strongly expressed. The faithfulness of a husband and wife, the tender care offered to an aged parent, the daily effort we put into our work, year after year - these and so many other daily, loving acts show our faith as nothing else really can. No, Mother Teresa was not an atheist because she wasn’t able to feel God’s love. Nor are we atheists when we, too, go through much of life without wonderful spiritual experiences. Our faith is found exactly where our love is found - in the middle of our all too ordinary day to day lives - in our perseverance and faithfulness to God and to one another.